I Love You More Than Page 5

  “Of course it did and of course they were! I told you that you would rock at it. You’re a very talented woman. Did David take you out to celebrate?”

  Harrison hated to mention David, but he had to in order to get a handle on how Felicia felt about David before he could even attempt to let his intentions be known. At the mention of David’s name, Felicia’s smile extinguished, leaving nothing behind but ash.

  “No.” Harrison thought that would be the only response he would get. She was so focused on pulling at the grass in front of her. “David feels that I shouldn’t get used to being in this position. It’s only temporary after all.”

  Harrison had to use everything within him not to show the anger and dislike he held towards David. Felicia deserved so much better. He’d love nothing more than to show her what all she deserved.

  “You know that he’s full of shit right? You’re great at what you do Felicia. Don’t let his hang ups and insecurities take the joy out of what you do. You are more than qualified to be a lead designer at Tom Rich! Mark my words, you’ll be bringing them major business with your talent.”

  “Thanks H. That’s so nice of you to say.” Felicia found herself blushing at his compliment. Had she been looking at him, she would’ve seen the look of tenderness that crossed his face when she called him by the nickname she’d given him long ago.

  “No need to thank me, it’s the truth. Speaking of truth, why are you still with that jerk Felicia? Honestly, I know you have to know you deserve better than that bag of bones, right?”

  Taking a deep breath, Felicia found herself having a discussion about a topic she was hoping to forever ignore with Harrison.

  “For a long time Harrison, no, no I did not know that I deserved more. When I started to accept that I did, I stayed for the girls. To provide them with the family I, we both had growing up. Now I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it anymore.”

  Felicia couldn’t believe she’d voiced that aloud. She’d been thinking and feeling it for quite some time, but hadn’t voiced her feelings out loud. They sat quietly for a long time, just enjoying the screams and laughs of the children running about and playing.

  Harrison had always viewed Felicia as a beautiful, sensual woman. Well ever since she had hit the age of seventeen. Harrison would never forget when he was home on furlough. Emma was making one of her many social statements and going stag to the senior prom with a group of her girlfriends. He could recall Felicia’s image when he opened the door to her that night. She had been stunning. She’d caused him to act like a tongue tied dummy. When he finally regained his wits he had a group of girls’ giggling at his back over his flustered reaction. Harrison could never erase her angelic vision from that night out of his head.

  “You know for the longest time I carried a torch for you.” He decided directness was the best way to go. Which happened to catch her completely off guard. Felicia whipped her head up from the grass to look at him.

  “What? Nooo. No way. Emma would have told me.” Lord knew she used to bombard her best friend with sixty questions about her older brother. Emma knew Felicia had crushed on Harrison all four of their high school years.

  “She didn’t know. No one knew, well except for our folks. Mom and Dad kind of guessed the night of your senior prom. But yes, for the longest time I wished you’d given me the time of day.”

  “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Felicia was happy but a little pissed at the same time. Had she known and they’d gotten together back then, would her life still be the way it was now? Or would she have had the happily ever after she’d always sought?

  “Because you were dating Eddie Ware during that time. I’d heard you and Emma crushing over him from when I used to chauffer you both to and from school. Why would you give me the time of day when I was deployed? Then I met Chloe and got married. By the time we got a divorce a mere short six months later, you were already pregnant with Dana.”

  Felicia thought back to the times Harrison was referencing. Particularly while he was deployed and when she’d first been introduced to David. Even as he’d been portraying the perfect gentleman role for her, she still would’ve chosen a long distance relationship with Harrison. Then when he was divorcing his ex-wife, she was busy making the mistake of trying again to make things work with David.

  “I remember when you and Chloe got engaged. I was having dinner at your house and your parents announced it while we were eating. Winston had to do the Heimlich on me when I started chocking on the Brussel sprout I was eating.” She laughed out loud at the memory. “I never did get the full story of what happened between you and Chloe.”

  “Is this your way of finding out now?” Harrison asked with a look of both pain and amusement on his face. At the slight nod of her head he continued. “I met Chloe while I was stationed in Virginia and for a while things were great. Well that is until we married six months later. You know I come from a big family. I’ve always wanted to have a big family of my own and made that no secret. So of course after we married I wanted to start working on our family right away. I love kids but I soon learned Chloe was only interested in designing her dream house and being a pampered housewife sans the children. I found that out when I found her birth control pills she’d sworn she’d stopped taking six months prior. We couldn’t come to a median ground so that left me no choice but to file for divorce.”

  “I’m sorry Harrison. You would make a great father. No correction, you will make a great father some day! You just have to find the right person.” Felicia finished giving him a reassuring smile.

  “What happens if you’ve found her, but she’s still not available?” Harrison asked while holding her gaze. Unwilling to allow her to look away. Felicia’s heart quickened at his question and her palms became sweaty. She didn’t have an immediate response for that question. Luckily for her, Dana and Elena chose that moment to come over and eat.

  ****

  When they got back to Kincaid’s it was closed but her car was finished. Dana and Elena had dozed off in the back of Harrison’s pickup and rather than moving them to Felicia’s backseat, he offered to follow her home and help get them in the house. Normally Felicia would’ve declined, but David spent the weekends in Alton tending to his rental property. And no doubt his tenant too…so she agreed. The last thing she felt like doing was lugging Dana and Elena’s dead weight into the house. When they pulled into the driveway, as expected David’s car was nowhere to be seen. Felicia parked outside the garage and opened the door into the house.

  Harrison already had Dana in his arms as if she weighed no more than a feather. Felicia knew better than that. She hasn’t been able to lift Dana in four years. Felicia went around to the other side and grabbed Elena. The look Harrison shot her clearly showed his irritation at her assistance. He clearly had things under control, but Felicia was used to always having to be in control. So it was hard to just stand around and watch someone do something she could also be doing.

  He followed her to the back of the house where the girls’ slept and helped to put them to bed. After making sure they were comfortable, Felicia stepped out the room and closed the door behind them. Harrison was standing in the middle of her family room looking at her walls lined with pictures and art.

  “Thanks for helping me get the girls’ home. You didn’t have to do that. We’ve already taken up your whole day.”

  “Nonsense! There’s nothing I would have rather done today than what I was doing. You are doing an amazing job with them. They’re a joy to be around. Where’s David?” he asked looking around, surely wondering where David’s stuff was.

  “On the weekends he goes to Alton to tend to his rental properties.” Harrison just stared at her, not uttering a single word when he finally broke the silence.

  “Walk me to the door.” That definitely wasn’t what Felicia was expecting or wanting to hear. When they reached the front door, Felicia went to grab the doorknob when Harrison stopped her by placing his hand on top o
f hers.

  “If you were mine,” he started as he raised her chin up so she was looking him in the eye, “I’d spend my weekends tending to you and only you.” And with that declaration he placed a kiss on the very corner of her mouth and walked out to his truck.

  Chapter Nine

  It was always hard to get going on Mondays. When you threw in lying awake in the bed all night replaying the almost kiss from two nights ago in your head…over and over until the wee hours of the morning. She knew without a doubt it would be a long, rough day! After the staff meeting that morning, Felicia and Jenna worked on a prospective clients mock ups. They worked through lunch, electing to order in takeout. Maybe they would be able to leave on time. The strategy worked and they were able to leave earlier than expected.

  Since she was off earlier than planned, Felicia decided to stop by her parents’ house before she picked the girls up from aftercare. Felicia let herself in with her key calling out as she closed and locked the door behind her.

  “Hellllooooooo, anyone home?”

  “Hey baby.” Her mother greeted as she came out from the kitchen. “I didn’t expect to see you today. How you doing?” Cassandra asked as she pulled her daughter into her embrace.

  “I’m fine Momma. I left the office a little early and thought I’d stop by to see how you two were doing.”

  “Aww we’re fine baby. Your daddy took the week off, so it’s going to be a long one for me. But besides that, we’re good.”

  “Cass when is dinner going to be ready?” Jacob shouted as he entered the room, stopping short when he saw Felicia. “Hey suga! To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?” He asked as she stood to give him a hug.

  “Geesh, the way you two act one would think I never came by to see you.”

  Felicia sat back down in the lazy-boy chair next to her father’s throwback recliner chair. His vinyl pleather chair had to weigh two-hundred pounds. Toes have been broken when they’ve had a collision with the corners of that monstrosity. But Jacob just wouldn’t give the chair up.

  “Not at all suga. We just saw you Friday. Just didn’t expect to see you so soon since you skipped out on service Sunday.” Of course between the two of them, one would be able to slip that into the conversation. Felicia closed her eyes so her parents would not call her out on the serious eye roll she just did. A trick that saved her face a lot of slaps growing up. She may have been loved also known as spoiled growing up…but her momma didn’t play when it came to certain things. And rolling your eyes just happened to be one of them.

  “Yeah. Me and the girls were tired from being out all day Saturday.” Right as the words left her mouth Felicia was wishing she had the ability to recall them.

  “Oh? What did you three get into?” Her parents didn’t even play into the whole make believe family unit Felicia tried to put on for the girls. They knew if they were out spending time as a family it was without David.

  “Well momma I got up your time Saturday, so by ten all the chores had been done. I decided to take my car into Kincaid’s to get the oil change I’d been putting off.”

  “Good for you suga! I hate that you don’t have a real man living with you that would take care of that for you. But that’s neither here nor there. Was Winston or Harrison there?” Felicia could feel Cassandra’s eyes boring into her as if she were giving her a wireless lie detector test. Using their DNA to determine if her daughter was telling them everything.

  “Mr. Winston wasn’t there, but Harrison was.”

  “Well if Harrison was there I don’t see why it would have taken all day to get that oil changed.”

  “Hush Jacob! Felicia didn’t say that was all she did. Continue baby.” There she was, Special Investigator Cassandra Montgomery on the case….

  “Well as you know Saturday was a beautiful day. Harrison had Chad do my oil change and took the girls’ and me to Forrest Park.”

  “That was nice.” Jacob replied to break the silence that hung in the air.

  “And after the park?” Cassandra prodded.

  “After the park we grabbed dinner at Chili’s and went home.”

  “I see. And where was David when all of this was going on?” While Cassandra couldn’t stand David, she also wouldn’t be supportive of Felicia starting anything while she was still in a messy situation. Regardless of how fucked up the situation was.

  “He left for Alton right after work on Friday. Came back late last night.”

  “Felicia sweetie, I understand wanting to give your girls the benefit of having their mother and father in the same house. You yourself was afforded that. But baby that my babies are being raised in, is not the same household you grew up in. My grandbabies are smarter than you give them credit for. They know you two are not in love with each other, but love them dearly.”

  “You need to give this dream you have of being the Huxtable’s up, so you can move on with your life. Stop allowing that worthless piece of shit use you. His greatest accomplishment is Dana and Elena. That’s it. We knew he was dumb when he failed to see what he had in you and lost your love. Without you and them, what does he have going for himself? Not a damn thing!”

  Felicia couldn’t refute a word her mother had just spoken even if she wanted to. For everything that had just tumbled from Cassandra’s mouth was the honest to goodness’ truth. She herself was tired of not living. There was so much she wanted to do. To get out and experience. However, David’s presence and negativity stifled all of them to no end. She had no control over her own home.

  He had his own bedroom and yet completely took control of the living room as his. Her parents had bought Felicia a fifty inch flat screen for her bedroom a few months back. Elena had told them they had to turn off Frozen because David wanted to watch the game and go to sleep.

  “You’re right momma.” Felicia agreed, her eyes tearing up. “I think I am finally at my threshold. I can’t take living like this any longer. I will have a talk with him tonight and ask for a definitive date on when he’s moving out.” David had been telling Felicia he was moving for about three years now and nothing has happened. And after the blowup over Dana’s friend Leah coming over, things had been exceptionally tense.

  “Good suga. And you know if you need me, Joe and I will come over.” Joe was her father’s twin, a twenty two caliber pistol.

  “I know daddy. We should be good. I better run and get the girls. I’ll talk to you guys later and let you know how it goes.”

  “Alright baby, drive safely! And give my grandbabies some suga from us.” She called to Felicia’s back as she walked out the house to her car. Cassandra knew her baby didn’t share everything that has transpired between her and David. But she didn’t think she would have to worry about him putting his hands on her. Jacob had introduced David to Joe a long time ago. Jacob had made certain they had understood each other. Put his hands on their baby girl and Joe would lay hands on him.

  Chapter Ten

  They were the first ones to arrive home. Much to Felicia’s relief. She pre-heated the oven to warm the leftovers she’d hidden in the refrigerator from David so she wouldn’t have to cook tonight. She then went off to start the girls’ bath water. Felicia heard the front door close, signaling David’s arrival and the end to her peaceful evening. After Felicia had changed out of her work clothes she helped the girls finish up and get their pajamas on. Instructing them to pick out their clothes for tomorrow.

  “Mommy do I have to have cabbage again tonight? I just want the chicken, rice and gravy.” Elena asked while giving Felicia the sad face. “Oh and the biscuit!”

  All she could do was shake her head at her tenacious five year old. She literally was a chip off the old block.

  “No baby, you ate it last night, you don’t have to eat it again if you don’t want it. What about you Dana? Do you want everything or just the rice and chicken?” Dana appeared to be in deep thought contemplating the pros and cons of cabbage or no cabbage.

  “I want cabbage too please.�
�� Dana told her as she walked to the cabinets to take out their glasses and to the drawers grabbing their silverware. Felicia began making their plates and sent up a prayer of thanks as she did so. There were just enough leftovers to go around. Felicia was only left with one chicken wing to go with her rice and gravy, she’d just get more cabbage to make up for it.

  “Hi Daddy!” Elena called out to David as he walked into the kitchen. He headed to the stove to get a look at what they were eating for dinner. It would be too much to ask or even look at the food that was plated on the table. David gave his customary grunt, too occupied with his actions to acknowledge his baby girl.

  Elena took it in stride as normal. The only telltale sign that he affected her with his inattention was the dimming of the bright shining light her eyes had held before he ignored her presence. Felicia was used to his callous treatment, but when he extended it to their children, it pissed her off like nothing else in this world.

  “There’s no more chicken?” he asked finally finding his vocal chords.

  “Is there any in the pot?”

  “No.”

  “Then no, there’s no more chicken.” Felicia answered not in the mood to placate him or stroke anything on him. His feelings or his ego. His ass could care less if he hurt her baby’s feelings. Why should she give a fuck about his? Keeping in line with their intuitive nature, Dana and Elena picked up on the tenseness that existed between their parents immediately.

  “Why am I not surprised? You’d actually have to count to make sure that you made enough for everyone. That would be asking way too much of you.” He told her as he moved to the pantry to no doubt grab a can of tuna. He was such a waste of skin and bones. Normally Felicia would spare dick. But his dick the female gender could live without.