I Love You More Than Read online

  Things had begun to become bearable. They would only argue about twice a week instead of every day. Multiple times. Felicia’s peaceful home life changed as they entered their fifth year of their relationship. The year she was certain she would finally have it all. It was during that time Felicia discovered she was pregnant with her now eight year old, Dana. Naturally, being scared and nervous, she told her mother and father about the news. Although her mother was not happy her daughter was pregnant out of wedlock, she was happy about the blessing their family was about to receive. Felicia’s Aunt Anita had predicted this was just what David needed to get him to go on and pop that question.

  She would never forget the night she told him she was pregnant as long as she lived. Felicia had it all planned out. Cook his favorite dinner, maybe make love and then tell him the good news. Oh how she wished things had gone that smoothly. Felicia left work early that day and ran to the grocery store. She purchased everything needed to cook his favorite meal – smothered fried chicken rice, greens, macaroni and cheese and cornbread. Felicia fought through her nausea to finish the meal and had just set the table when he came home.

  Walking in the house, David went straight for the bathroom to wash his hands. She knew he would wash them at least three times with scalding hot water and bleach. Five times if he felt he’d come too close in contact with some type of contaminant. Being used to his quirks, this was a natural routine for him.

  David emerged from the powder room and went to the fridge where he opened the door with a paper towel grabbing a bottle of beer and twisted the cap off. He downed half the bottle in one gulp. Feeling the nervousness start to build, Felicia blurted out part of the surprise.

  “I cooked your favorite tonight!”

  In return she received his customary grunt, acknowledging he had heard her speak. After plating their dinner and serving them, she tried to make small talk with David. He was clearly in one of his moods. She hated when he was in his moods. He became quiet, sullen and would retreat within himself. But when he was in a good, happy go lucky mood, everything was GREAT! He treated her as if she were on a throne and no one could say anything to wipe the smile off Felicia’s face during those times. They were just getting fewer and further in between.

  Felicia was starting to wonder if it would be smart to wait and deliver the good news when David was in that better mood. But by the time he found himself in that mood again, she would probably be showing. She couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. She just had to tell him.

  “So…….you know how I haven’t been feeling well for the past of couple of weeks? Well I went to the doctor today and found out that we’re eight weeks pregnant!”

  You could’ve heard an ant piss as quiet as the room had become. David’s fork had paused mid-air when he heard the tail end of the news. Lowering his fork, David placed his elbows on the table, bringing his hands up to form a steeple in front of his face. He rested his chin on his thumbs.

  “Haven’t you been taking your pills? Or is it too hard and difficult for you to remember to take a stupid pill every day!”

  Clearing her dry throat from the sudden fear and nervousness that rose up. Felicia explained that the antibiotic she was taking for the urinary tract infection, weakened her birth control pills unknowingly to her.

  “So what?” David asked letting out a sarcastic laugh, “You expect me to marry you now or something?” Felicia felt like a knife had pierced her heart.

  “I’d never want you to marry me just for our baby. But I had thought that marriage was…is…what we have been working towards.”

  “Hunh. Well, I don’t know what the hell you expect me to say or even do for that matter.” David raised up from his chair suddenly. “I’ve lost my appetite. I’m going to go out and hang with Hank for a while. I’ll be back when I’m back.” And with that, David put his shoes on, grabbed his keys from the table and left.

  Felicia’s entire pregnancy had been stressful and for a while there, in jeopardy. She was constantly having to be monitored for her high blood pressure. She’d been having a lot pain and discomfort one night and had to catch a cab to the hospital. David had left work, Felicia giving him the perfect excuse to. After David arrived they both listened to the fifteen minute lecture the doctor gave them. It was imperative for both the pregnancy and her health, that Felicia be stress free for the rest of it. David argued with her the entire fifty minute ride home. Felicia always wondered if his intention had been for her to have a miscarriage that day.

  Chapter Three

  When Dana was born, everything changed for Felicia. There was a major shift and David was no longer the main priority in her world. Instead, it was the precious bundle of joy that she would spend hours upon hours staring at, while cradling her in her arms. Nothing changed at home where David was concerned. In fact in became worse.

  When Dana, who was no more than fourteen months at the time, dirtied her pull up one afternoon, she pulled it off and had tracked it throughout her bedroom floor. Any parent that has gone through the early toddler years, knows this is not an uncommon occurrence. But to David Foster, it was the end of the world and the vilest thing he had ever come across ever in life. Of course it was a direct reflection of a behavioral issue they weren’t aware of. The answer was to beat the behavior out of Dana. As soon as Felicia heard her baby’s cries ring out, she stopped scrubbing the carpet and shot up from her hands and knees. Felicia ripped Dana from his grasp before the third slap could meet her bottom. Holding her baby to her chest and crying hysterically herself, Felicia told David that if he ever laid a hand on her child again, it would also be the last day he took a breath.

  David moved out soon after that and would just come over on the weekends to give Felicia a break. When David moved out he purchased a house, stating that he needed time to sort out his life and feelings for her, and to decide if he still wanted the same things, including her. Of course that didn’t stop him from wanting to be intimate with her. Their relationship remained like that for four years after Dana was born. At first her family told her to be patient, he would surely come around. He still participated, (showed up in David’s case) every now and then at family functions and would spend “quality” time with Felicia and the baby. This usually entailed him sitting on her couch watching sports.

  As much as Felicia wanted to marry David when they were first dating…all that faded once she got to know the real David Foster. Gone was the man that held open doors for her, told her how pretty she looked or how attractive he found her. Gone was the man that paid attention to what she said and appeared to be interested in every word that fell from her lips. Gone was the man that would take her out on dates and to hang around his friends. What she now had was a grown ass man-child who acted like he couldn’t shit without her wiping his ass for him!

  Felicia’s girlfriends soon all became a distant memory. They could not stomach to sit around and witness the shitty way he treated her. And her ability to overlook it. Felicia didn’t have the heart to stop them and fight for her lifelong friendships. David had her so brainwashed she was convinced that if she didn’t have him around, she would not be able to survive raising a child on her own.

  Haylee and Analia were finally able to convince their cousin that it was time to cut ties with David once and for all. Get on with her life and back out into the world of dating. She was a young vivacious twenty-five year old woman! After a lot of thought and long consideration, Felicia finally brought herself to accept the fact that she and David were over. Felicia slowly but surely started to separate herself from him and stopped seeking his opinion, advice and approval on every little thing she did. She simply no longer cared what his opinion was.

  Picking up on this sudden change in her, David started sniffing back around trying to mark his territory. Putting on his best I’m only three-fourths asshole and one-fourth of uselessness routine acting all lovey dovey again. That’s how her “mini me” Elena came to be in existence. Felicia never for one m
oment regretted Elena. But in the back of her mind she knew David impregnated her on purpose to keep her tied to him. After all a single mother of one, tough but doable. Single mother of two....not so easy.

  Trying to accept her reality for what it was, Felicia threw herself into trying to make her family work. David rented out his house and moved back in. He still wasn’t very helpful around the house nor with the pregnancy, but he was more helpful then he’d been in the past. So Felicia chose to see this as progress. Five years later and here she stagnantly sat.

  Felicia was starting to get to the point where she really had to ask herself was it worth the stress and anxiety David caused her to feel every day? All while in the confines of her own home just to have her girls’ father there? All just to give their daughter’s a sense of security, regardless of it being false. Looking in from the outside, a stranger would think that Felicia led a normal life. She had the perfect gentleman providing for her.

  He gave her five hundred for rent, even though he didn’t “live” there, and six-hundred for the girls. Sure he never went to the grocery store or bought the twenty bottles of sanitizer he used in a month or the two packs of bulk paper towels he went through monthly. David easily ate, shit and overly cleaned himself for five-hundred a month! Easy. But he never considered any of that. So whenever the girls needed this or that, it was Felicia they sought.

  Just because David was a horrible significant other, that didn’t mean that he didn’t have his Daddy moments. Felicia knew he loved the girls, he just didn’t have a healthy way of showing it. He didn’t know how to. His father never taught him how. Hell he barely even spoke to his father while he was alive. Felicia didn't know if he would ever be capable. David used his brow beating mentality to push their daughters forward. She didn’t have to worry about his methods as much when it came to Dana. She went above and beyond in soccer to please her father.

  Truth be told Dana hated it, but it was something he enjoyed bragging on her about. And she loved having something that she did make her daddy happy. Elena, unfortunately, didn’t have as good of a rapport with David. Especially when it came to sports. She tried soccer and hated it. It was so hard for Felicia to stand on the sidelines and watch her baby struggle, but David refused to allow her to quit.

  “She’s not going to waste all the money I’ve put into her playing.”

  That statement confused and puzzled Felicia as she was the one who paid the registration fees for both of them. But to point that out would cause a major blow up and it just wasn’t worth it.

  “If you don’t want to play soccer you need to let me know before I invest more time and money! I know you take after your mother, but I was really hoping you wouldn’t be useless like she is. I was really hoping that my genes would’ve dominated her lazy ones. But I guess not.”

  Again Felicia was confused but held her tongue. Yes she was at her heaviest at one hundred and eighty-five pounds, but she was still smaller than his two hundred and fifty marshmallow man ass. After being allowed to put the girls to bed two hours later, she’d had to stay up and listen to an additional three hour rant just so he could get all his anger and frustration out. Felicia decided she would let Elena quit soccer and do what she loved and had been begging to do…gymnastics. Only problem was, gymnastics didn’t make the cut in the sports category for David. As much as he liked to brag and take ownership for the girls’ accomplishments, he was nowhere to be seen when it came time to shuttle them back and forth to practice and game days. Volunteer at the concession stands, fundraising...he took part in none of it.

  David had not once asked Felicia to marry him in the thirteen years they had been together. But eventually he would…At least that’s what her extended family liked to say to cheer her on. She was almost at the finish line that would deem her the winner aka Mrs. David Foster. At one point in time there was nothing Felicia wanted more than for David to ask her to marry him. If he asked her to marry him tomorrow (not that he would ever would), Felicia would literally shit on herself. Talk about a deer caught in the headlights. The thought was enough to make her break out into and cold sweat and start to hyperventilate.

  Chapter Four

  “Hey sweetie!” Harrison glanced up from the invoices he was currently working on, to find his mom standing in the doorway of his office.

  “Hey pretty lady! What brings you down my way?” He asked as he got up and walked around his desk to give his mother her customary hug and kiss on the cheek.

  “Oh nothing. I thought I’d stop by and bring you and the boys the left over muffins I had from a charity brunch we held this morning. Along with some other goodies to munch on throughout the day.”

  “Well thank you! We appreciate it. You look really nice today mom. Where’s Pop?” Harrison asked looking around. “He let you out by yourself looking this nice?” Carolyn Kincaid couldn’t help but to laugh at her sons’ flattery. If there was ever a time she needed a pick me up, she knew just where to turn. Well after her husband Winston of course, Harrison did get his flattering ways honest after all.

  “Ohhh, he elected not to come to the brunch with me today. Said he’d rather watch the paint dry.”

  Harrison Kincaid was born and raised in St Louis Missouri. The second of six children, three girls and three boys. Growing up in a four bedroom two bath house had been difficult, but his parents Winston and Carolyn Kincaid made the best of the situation. Harrison’s father was a general practitioner for thirty odd years and his mother was his office manager up until the day she retired five years ago. Before that she had worked from home managing the practice. Harrison’s father finally followed suit two years prior.

  Harrison laughed loudly at his mother. He could see his father’s reaction at having to put on his Sunday best during the week. Winston and Harrison Kincaid were an awful lot alike. They were both what many would call loners. They had no problem interacting with people, but if they were left alone to their own devices, they’d be perfectly fine with that as well.

  But in the looks department upon initial glance, one would think Harrison was the complete opposite of Winston. Where Winston was fair and blond, Harrison was the definition of tall dark and damn handsome! At thirty-nine he wore his hair cut down low on the sides, a little longer on the top, but not by much. Harrison mostly kept his face clean shaven. Every now and then he wore a closely cropped full beard and mustache. He had full luscious lips that were perfectly framed by his mouthwatering beard. His brandy hued gaze could reduce you down to embers from the smoldering heat they radiated. He had an impeccable style when it was time to dress up, a direct opposition to his profession.

  Harrison worked with his hands, mostly for pleasure. Restoring old classics he purchased. But from time to time if one of his shops were short staffed, he’d fill in where needed. Harrison had swarthy tanned skin and tattoos for days that were well hidden and very few people knew of.

  “You know I was thinking…” Carolyn Kincaid began. Letting Harrison know that she had some hair brained scheme cooked up. No doubt it involved hooking him up with an acquaintances daughter. An acquaintance she’d just had brunch with. “Since your divorce from Chloe we haven’t really seen you interested in anyone. It’s been a few years and I’m ready for some more grandchildren. I know you’re ready for your own little brood too. I see how you are with your nieces and nephews. You’re ready for your own…”

  The Kincaid’s were a strong family unit. Immediate and extended. Harrison was extremely close with his siblings even if a couple, really all of them, got on his nerves. The Kincaid boys as soon as they turned to the age of eighteen, enlisted in the services as their father had done. This drove Carolyn bonkers, but she never stood in their way. There would be no excuses as to why any of them would not receive a college degree. And they all had. Harrison’s oldest brother was Win, was forty-one and still active in the black ops. Then there was his baby brother Luke Kincaid who was thirty-six. Luke had served in the Marines while Harrison served with navy s
eals for 16 years retiring as a Lieutenant Commander.

  Emma Kincaid-Ross at thirty-six was his oldest sister. Emma, was married to Daniel, a successful cardiologist. She was a stay at home mother whose days were filled with chauffeuring her children to and from their sports and activities. Volunteering and keeping a perfect home for her successful husband (while secretly lusting after their handyman). Anyone who had grown up with Emma was completely and utterly shocked at her transformation over the years. Harrison personally believed she must’ve done some stupid shit during college causing her to see the light and straighten her act up. What else other than a near death experience could bring his wild child sister to heel?

  Next in line was Lindsey Kincaid who was thirty-four and a successful freelance journalist and blogger. She had only one major flaw as far as their mother was concerned. She was a serial dater. In fact Lindsey was seeing the current boyfriend for over four months now. A record in her family’s eyes.

  Last but certainly not least was Kelley Kincaid ringing in at thirty and was affectionately known to her siblings as the “oops baby”. Kelly still lived at home with their parents. Not like she was hardly ever there. Kelley was drop dead gorgeous and was a stylist for quite a few A-listers. She was too busy having fun with girls, boys and sometimes both at the same time to settle down with just one.

  Leaning back in his chair Harrison appraised his mom trying to gauge if this was going to be a short and sweet talk or turn into a lecture.