I Love You More Than Read online

  “Mom,” Harrison started trying to gather the right words. “Yes I’m ready to start a family of my own, but first I have to find the right woman for me.” Rushing on to cut off whoever she was about to try and set him up with, he continued on. “After my whole marriage debacle with Chloe, I learned to be patient. Do I want a wife, kids and family? Yes, but not enough to jump and rush into something with just anybody. When I meet the right woman for me, I’ll know.”

  Harrison had learned at an early age if he wanted to be happy with what he did in life, he had to be the commander of his destiny. He didn’t do well taking orders from anyone else, therefore whatever he did in life, he had to be his own boss. This proved useful when he was a Seal. It propelled him to raise high in the ranks sooner than most. And to find his way when he returned home.

  Harrison had always loved cars. As a boy he played with them, when he grew up he began to work on and restore them. He jumped at the chance to buy his first garage when the Morrison’ decided to move to Florida and put their garage up for sale five years ago. He and his silent investor (father) purchased the building. Harrison purchased the three acres of land the Morrison’s owned connected to the business separately. Harrison had expanded the business and now had locations in Glendale, Chesterfield, Ladue, Creve Coeur and St Louis.

  When Harrison retired from the services he met and fell in love with his ex-wife Chloe. Things were great until they married six months later and Harrison wanted to start working on their family right away. He’d grown up with five siblings, of course he loved children! But Harrison had never wanted to get serious or have kids while enlisted. He soon learned Chloe was only interested in designing her dream house and being a pampered housewife sans the children.

  “I know son, but just like I didn’t want you wasting time on that good for nothing woman you married. I don’t want you wasting time, pining away for something that is out of your reach…” Carolyn told him, purposefully leaving Felicia’s name out of the conversation. Harrison has carried a torch for his sister’s best friend from high school for many years. Carolyn used to hold out hope that the two of them would find their way to each other. But the years hadn’t been kind to either one. Both of them ending up with people who could not, would not and did not appreciate them for the treasures they were.

  Chapter Five

  Felicia glanced at her reflection in her rearview mirror while stopped at a traffic light. There’s nothing more she hated; than running late! Considering she had overslept that morning and only had forty minutes to get not only herself, but Dana who was eight and Elena who was five, out of the house………..she looked good. David being the total waste of space he was, had lain dead to the world on her living room couch.

  One would think with the father of your children living with you, the kids missing the bus wouldn’t be the end of the world. He didn’t have to be into the office until ten after all. But David would have thrown such a fit at having to get up and demonstrate with anything first thing in the morning. It just was not worth the fight and the effort. That’s how a lot of things went and were decided in Felicia’s house. On whether or not she felt it was worth the fight that was guaranteed to ensue.

  Felicia used to love to entertain at her house. Invite friends and family over to eat and play cards. But David was so paranoid, he felt that everyone was after him. He didn’t want strangers in his house. He had important papers and documents in his room (that he didn’t sleep in). Mind you these strangers were people Felicia had known longer than she’d been with David. But still they were strangers. Felicia couldn’t park her car in her own garage because of all of his mess he had stored in there. It was only used as an easy way to take grocery bags to the kitchen. And if he was around, that had to be done in five minutes flat. He didn’t want the neighbors knowing what all he had in her garage.

  In the beginning Felicia used to just think that David was paranoid about the government being in his business. That’s why he kept his money in a safety deposit box and didn’t do direct deposit. But that was just the surface of his paranoia. The girls didn’t even like having company over. Not since the time Felicia was to take her neighbors little girls, Dana’s friend to school with them one morning. Felicia agreed to do this without a thought as a favor to her mother. Leah was scared that Felicia would forget her and she walked over to sit and wait for them to get ready to leave.

  You would have thought that the world had come to an end the way David yelled and ranted about people coming over unannounced. How rude it was etcetera, etcetera. Felicia had been livid that he’d not only shown his ass, but also that he’d shown his ass over a fucking baby coming over to catch a ride. A baby’s whose mother and father helped Felicia out anytime she needed it because his deadbeat lazy ass did nothing around the house. She had been so embarrassed. After sending everyone out to get in the car, including a teary eyed Dana, Felicia lost it and cussed David out for five minutes straight. Ending her rant with, you need to move the fuck out of my house now! That had been six months or so ago and he was still there.

  So like any other normal day, Felicia hurried to get the girls ready so she could try and catch up with their bus at one of the other stops. She would most definitely be late if she had to end up taking them to school. Luckily, they caught up with the bus three stops away.

  Felicia did most of her meditation while sitting in traffic. This morning was no different as she thought about how David was completely and utterly useless. If the girls had a function and God forbid for him to have to perform a parental duty and take them somewhere or show up. If he did, Felicia had to give him detailed instructions on how to get to and from the event. She needed to let him know if she thought weather would play a role in his venture and if there were any major accidents or delays on the roads he was travelling. If she just so happened to not be Super Woman and fail the mission, David would go off into a rant about how nothing she did was ever competent enough!

  This is why he hasn’t been able to bring himself to ask her to marry him in the thirteen years they’ve been on again off again. All the parents and coaches thought they were living the perfect life, they were just living a progressive lifestyle. Her family was starting to get an unobstructed view of her life. Her friends had always seen the real David. Not the half assed act of indifference he put on for her family.

  Sex had been a thing of the past between the two of them unknowingly to everyone. Felicia’s grandmamma always said, ‘if your man ain’t getting his loving from you, you best be damned sure he’s getting it from somewhere else baby!’ And Felicia was just fine with that. As long as he left her alone.

  The sound of the horn brought Felicia back to the present as she hastily attempted to accelerate her 1999 Honda Accord…well, as much as it would allow her to anyway. She pulled into a parking spot at the warehouse her office was housed out of. Felicia loved her job as an interior designer. The hours were sometime crazy but she loved the hustle and bustle of the deadlines. David has never been supportive of her career. The way he saw it, all Felicia did was play all day making things pretty.

  Walking in you could tell it was just another manic Monday. Everyone there was anxiously awaiting for their turn to brew their Keurig fix. Felicia herself would’ve been in that line, but even though she woke up extremely late…she never left the house without her morning cup of brew. Which is why they had to chase down the bus. But hey, in the end everyone was happy.

  As Felicia was passing the line headed to her office, her favorite of her favorite bosses in the whole world Rich joined her.

  “Good morning cookie! How’s your Monday morning going so far?” he asked brightly. A little too brightly Felicia thought to herself.

  “It’s going Rich. Off to a late start, but catching up in the race. Speaking of, how many cups of coffee have you had today?” Laughing loudly, which only served as evidence that it was indeed not his first cup, Rich stopped them outside her office.

  “This would be my
third mug of the day. And before you start in on me, it will also be my last of the day. Tea from here on out! But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about cookie. Saroya had to fly out yesterday for a family emergency and doesn’t know when she’ll be back. You know I have the upmost confidence in you and have felt for quite some time for you to give up the “assistant” role despite your arguments. So while she’s gone, you will take over her clientele and continue on with the projects.”

  Felicia knew she had to have looked like a fish out of water the way her mouth kept opening and closing. Felicia finally found her tongue and she started to voice her objectives when Rich cut her off.

  “Ah ah ahhhh, I don’t want to hear it! It is done. Tom and I agreed, so it is so. Couldn’t have happened at a better time really Jenna the new hire will fill in as your assistant.” He told her while giving her cheek a pat. “Make it a great day cookie!” and with that Rich was off to secure more well-to-do clients…or whatever it was that he did.

  Felicia walked into her and Saroya’s funky, hip office that was decorated with a lot of bold colors and dark wood. Walking to her desk, as she began to sit she heard a knock from the doorway. Looking up she could only assume the cute little pixie chick standing in the doorway was her, well rather the office’s new assistant Jenna.

  “Hi. I’m Jenna. Rich told me I was to report here to you?”

  “Hello Jenna. Yes from what I understand you and I will be working together while Saroya is out of the office.”

  Felicia saw a spark alight in Jenna’s eye and it appeared that the girl was holding back. But Felicia discounted it to nerves.

  “I will just grab my things and make some room for you. Have you had your morning coffee?”

  “No not yet. I usually stop on the way to work, but didn’t want to chance running late.” Jenna replied warmly.

  “Well it’s a good thing you didn’t stop and pay when you have great free gourmet coffee at your fingertips. Go on and grab yourself a cup and by time you get through the line, I should be set to get you started.”

  “Okay. Would you like a cup also or anything to eat?” Jenna’s question threw Felicia as she was so used to seeing to others needs.

  “Uh sure, I’ll take a small cup of the vanilla biscotti.”

  “Great. I’ll be right back!” And with that, Jenna was off and Felicia found herself outside of her normal routine and out of sorts.

  Chapter Six

  Felicia and Jenna spent the morning getting themselves situated in their temporary spaces. Saroya and Felicia’s office setup was one envied by a lot of other designers in the firm. The others thought they were getting the best spaces by skipping over the office that was chopped up by a wall. But not Saroya, who at the time was the newest designer to the firm. Felicia’s area was arranged so it was the first thing you saw when you entered the office and included a small seating/meeting area outfitted with a petite sofa and two cube chairs with a small circular table in between them.

  Saroya’s office had a modicum of privacy if ever needed. When Felicia mentioned to Rich that a lot of Saroya’s favorite design books and etcetera were missing, he’d waived her concerns off stating she probably took a job or two on the side. Felicia thought nothing else of it. Their firm wasn’t as strict and as others, if they decided to freelance on the side, they were more than welcome to. Rich and Tom were smart enough to know that most of those side customers would become actual clients who just commissioned their preferred designer. On these jobs the designer received an extra bonus outside of their normal commission.

  Working side by side as she and Saroya had done for six years, Felicia had a great relationship established with their clients. So things went smoothly when she called all the clients whose projects they were in the midst of and let them know that she’d be filling in, also giving them Jenna’s information as a point of contact. Those that had concerns were promptly laid to rest when Felicia was able to answer and address any and all of their concerns. She may just be an assistant in their eyes. But she has always been an avid learner. Schooling was the only thing Felicia felt she had control over for such a long time that she excelled at it and her jobs.

  ****

  Felicia’s first day filling in as a lead designer ended great! She and Jenna would pretty much be in the field for the rest of the week seeing to the Livingston’s, Heyworth’s and Smith’s renovations. Wanting to get a little more work done tonight, Felicia elected to pick up dinner rather than cook. They would have been having leftovers but as usual, she was two-hundred percent sure David had ate them for breakfast. Whatever was left from that he would’ve packed up for work. The last thing he would do is spend his own hard earned money on food.

  Deciding at the last moment that a salad would go nicely with the frozen fifteen minute chicken pasta meal she planned to cook, she headed over to the produce section. It was Dana’s favorite meal so she couldn’t go wrong. Felicia was focused so intently on the tomato she had in her hand, she didn’t see Harrison Kincaid stalking his way towards her. It was just his luck to run into Felicia. He had woken up this morning with her…well in his dreams he had been with her.

  Felicia Montgomery made Harrison’s blood boil even while simply inspecting a piece of fruit. Harrison for the first time sympathized with Adam. Just as surely as his name was Harrison Kincaid, he knew if Felicia held an apple up for him to bite, he’d do so without a second thought.

  Harrison could see she must be coming straight from the office. Felicia was nowhere near skinny, which is what drove Harrison wild. She had curves that would make Kim K appear anorexic. After spending many nights fantasizing about them, Harrison had finally determined that Felicia’s breasts had to be about a 40/42DD. Her perfect shape was accentuated with a small waist and hips for days. And her smile…she had a genuine innocent smile that made Harrison feel warm all over. That’s just how he was feeling now that she’d spotted him approaching.

  Harrison tried his hardest to place a smile on his face to take away from the seriousness he knew he was exuding. Walking with a hard on had a way of changing one’s temperament. Quickly.

  Felicia had begun to feel as if someone was watching her, looking around her, her eyes connected with Harrison Kincaid’s blue tinted grey eyes. She was stuck, unable to break the eye contact. And if she was being truthful with herself, she didn’t want to. Her pulse had quickened and was now pulsing triple time. She felt her face automatically break out in a smile as it always did when she saw her best friends’ brother. Emma and Felicia hadn’t talked since Felicia had been pregnant with Elena.

  Whether or not Felicia could see or feel it, she was loved by many. David had caused her to lose out on so much over the years. Not just friendships. Those who were still around chose to love her from afar. She was always grateful Harrison has never treated her any differently than before she and Emma were on the outs. Felicia didn’t know what she would do if she couldn’t take her 99’ Accord to one of his many shops. Whether or not he knew it, Harrison had been her savior a few times over.

  When she’d first purchased her house seven years ago her car had broken down that first week after she’d moved in. Praying it was a battery or the alternator she’d called Kincaid’s and had the car towed in. Turned out she needed a new transmission. There was no way she could afford that after she’d just put all her savings down on her house. Harrison seeing the turmoil and desperation in her gaze had told her not to worry about settling up the bill when the repairs were done. She could pay him when she was able.

  Felicia balked at this of course, preparing herself to call her father and ask him for the funds David wasn’t even an option, there was no way he would be willing to pay for it. Harrison wouldn’t hear of her calling Jacob and even provided Felicia with a loaner vehicle. Thanks to him she’d have a way to get Dana to daycare and herself to work. It had taken six months, but she paid Harrison back every penny…at least she thought she had. He’d refused to give her an invoice for the work
done.

  Felicia had always secretly thought Harrison was the epitome of what sex walking on a stick would look like! He had to be six foot two easily and had a permanent tanned shade on his olive toned skin. And Harrison was hard. From his square jaw line that was often accompanied by a shadow from his beard down to his neck and shoulders that were broad and appeared to be hard under his navy blue Carhartt jumper. Felicia knew without a doubt that Harrison’s arms were ripped and he had to have washboard abs to match. Underneath a square cut wife beater. She would be willing to stake her life on him having a beater on right now…underneath that jumper.

  “Hello Felicia,” just the way he said her name made Felicia feel a little funny.

  “Hi Harrison. How are you doing?” she asked while trying to keep her eyes fastened on his and not on the skin that was peeping out from the unbuttoned column of his jumper.

  “I’m good Felicia,” his baritone voice breathed out. “I haven’t seen you around in a while. How have you been doing?” he’d really enjoyed seeing her whenever something went haywire with her car.

  “I’ve been good, can’t complain. My car has been great lately, hopefully I’m not jinxing it.”

  “Well I can’t say the same. I enjoy seeing and talking to you whenever you bring her to the shop. That seems to be the only time I get to see you.” Felicia busied herself by putting her tomatoes in a bag unsure of how to respond. Sensing her uncertainty Harrison continued in an attempt to calm her nerves. She had suddenly grown very tense. “How’re things going at Tom Rich?”

  At the mention of the design firm Felicia’s smile went from weltered to blooming once again.

  “It’s going great! Just today I found out…never mind,” Felicia abruptly stopped herself. Here she was about to go on and on about some temporary position. She could be such an idiot sometimes. Harrison became pissed off when Felicia abruptly cut herself off as if whatever she had to say held no value. It was clear that she was happy about something, but she felt as if whatever it was didn’t deserve recognition.