I Love You More Than Read online

  “No finish what you were saying,” Harrison told her as he stepped closer, closing in on her personal space and making it impossible for her to escape. “Just today you found out what?”

  “The lead designer I work with will be out of the office indefinitely and I am assuming the lead on our current projects.” Felicia finished feeling foolish. When she went home there would be no need to inform David of this. He would just find some way to make her feel stupid, insignificant or inadequate as only he could do.

  “Wow!” Harrison genuinely responded. “That’s great news Li! I’m sure once Tom and Rich see what all you can do they’ll have a new permanent lead designer in their midst.”

  “From your lips……” Felicia responded trailing off as she focused on Harrison’s full luscious lips outlined by his goatee. “Well I’ve got to hurry and finish here so I can pick the girls up and get dinner on the table.” Felicia thought she saw anger flicker through Harrison’s gaze, but it must’ve been her imagination. There was no trace of it now.

  “Of course. Let me stop holding you up. Please tell Dana and Elena I said hello and to come and keep me company at the shop one of these weekends.”

  Trying not to blush, Felicia told him she’d pass the message along. She hated the fact that another man who was not their father genuinely enjoyed spending time with her daughters. She had to beg and plead their actual father to spend quality time with them. Felicia knew Harrison’s request was not fluff, he honestly enjoyed whenever the girls had to accompany Felicia to Kincaid’s.

  Sparing Harrison one more backwards glance before she left the produce section, Felicia was shocked and…well…excited, to find his gaze still on her.

  Chapter Seven

  Felicia picked her daughters up from their afterschool program with fourteen minutes to spare. She definitely hadn’t planned to get such a late start, but as usual rarely do plans go as, well planned. Thankfully the girls had already done their homework so all that was left was for them to get bathed and into pajama’s as she prepared their dinner.

  Felicia was always relieved to find David gone when she came home. She can’t remember the last time she looked forward to coming home to him. When Felicia looked at David Foster she saw a nasty, greasy, slimy, foul smelling troll. Everyone else saw him as a typical teddy bear, overly soft and loveable. Nothing could be further from the truth. She wanted to laugh at the time when there was nothing she would not do for him even to the detriment of her own self.

  But nothing was ever good enough, acknowledged or appreciated. Only as she had slowly but surely put a stop to being his beck and call girl had he started to notice her at all. David used to call Felicia up to twenty times a day asking where this store or place was and the best way to get there? It was as if the man still lived and existed in 1985. Talk about come back to the future, there are smartphones and Google maps to be used now. But David was a hypochondriac. The type that felt that if he came to the modern way of doing things, the government would have a task force keeping tabs on him.

  The man didn’t even have an ATM or debit card. He used cash for everything, well really Felicia’s cash since it seemed like he never had any money on him to do this urgent thing or settle that bet. Feeling that because he’s writing her a check she could go and cash right away would make it a moot-point. But Felicia was tired of spending all her lunch hours running to her bank to deposit a damn check and had recently taken to keeping the bare minimum of cash on her. She had a debit card after all.

  Besides being overly paranoid, David was obsessed about cleanliness. You couldn’t touch him unless he’d witnessed you washing your hands or using hand sanitizer. If their girls felt this was a tiring task, imagine how it felt for Felicia? He would wake her up out of her sleep in the wee hours of the morning to get into the shower and douche all because he wanted to have sex. Leaving no room for impromptu quickies. Anyone with kids knew how important those moments are.

  And when it came to eating pussy? Let’s just say Felicia could really leave that. It seems like it’s a wonderful experience for many, but for her it was a tense, nerve-wracking experience and not in a good way. David was so occupied with examining her fucking fallopian tubes and making sure his tongue didn’t encounter any excessive wetness that Felicia started turning him down if he offered that as a way to get her to give in. This had caused their sex life to slow down tremendously from the two to three times a month they generally came together to once every month and a half or so before becoming nonexistent.

  Felicia could care less about being intimate with David. Her love for him had died a long time ago. She had only been in this to provide her girls with some type of atmosphere resembling one of a family unit. Even to the detriment of her own happiness.

  As anal as David was, the bathroom he used downstairs in the basement was the nastiest filthiest damn bathroom Felicia had ever encountered. She usually cleaned it every two weeks or so. But she’d started making a point of keeping their dealings separate when it came to chores and such. David had gotten used to her cleaning up behind him and he liked to inform her anytime he went out of town so she could clean in his absence. It has been about three months since she had been in there and a part of her regretted punishing herself by proving a point. The bottom of the tub had been black. It took Felicia three days to clean the bathroom.

  When David had come back Felicia had bitched and yelled so much he finally agreed to do better at keeping his bathroom clean. David had laid low for a couple of days afterwards, not knowing how to take this new side of Felicia. She had always been his do girl with no complaints. He’d tried several unsuccessful times to give her some dick hoping it would help with her mood. Surprisingly to David, she continued to turn him down.

  Felicia set the table for the three of them and called out to the girls that dinner was ready. Elena was just finishing up saying grace when David walked into the house. He walked past them without speaking as normal and continued into the kitchen where he washed his hands with soap and bleach. Grabbing five paper towels he dried his hands. After discarding that wad of paper towels, David tore off three more to use when he opened the refrigerator. It took everything in her not to roll her eyes at his shenanigans. Elena, the ultimate observer she was, had Felicia under her microscope lens.

  “Mom did you see Auntie Saroya today?” Dana asked as she speared a piece of broccoli off her plate.

  “No sweetie I didn’t. She will be out of town for a while.”

  “Who’s going to do her work Mommy?” Elena asked not one to be left out of any conversation.

  “I just found out today that I am sweetie.”

  “So you have to do her and your jobs?” hardly anything escaped Elena’s notice.

  “No. We actually have a new co-worker. Her name is Jenna and she’s going to fill in for me while I fill in for Auntie Saroya.”

  “Wow, Mommy that’s cool! I want to design like you do when I grow up.” Felicia felt warmth spread over her. Nothing made her happier than for her daughters to look up to her as their role model. Especially this day and age when mothers had to compete against their favorite singers and actresses.

  “Aww Elana, that makes me….”

  “No daughter of mine is going to spend her days playing on the computer all day. You two will go to medical or law school. Get real jobs. Not fluffy ones that barely take care of your bills.”

  As with anytime David had something negative to say, everyone got quiet. Waiting with abated breath to see if the cyclone would pass. Felicia hated having the girls in this type of atmosphere. Usually he could hold his nastiness in until they were put to bed.

  “You won’t depend on a man to take care of you and your kids because you’ll be smarter than to get pregnant without a ring first!”

  Felicia seethed on the inside as she tried to keep a cool demeanor to assure the girls that everything was fine or would be. David was good at spouting off his truth. The reality was he gave her six hundred a month for
the girls and five hundred a month to stay there. The girls’ afterschool program was four hundred a month and Felicia spent six hundred monthly just on groceries alone! With all the food, bleach and paper products David went through.

  He felt he was describing Felicia, when in all actuality David was describing himself. Dana and Elena’s heads were down looking at the food on their plates as they shuffled it back and forth. Felicia could see that dinner was over.

  “Go clear the plates and I’ll meet you in your room to say goodnight in five minutes.” Felicia left the table to go get her work bag and laptop from the living room. As usual the family room was occupied by David, she’d have no choice but to setup shop in her room.

  ****

  Felicia was in the zone when she looked up to see David standing in her doorway. Felicia had no clue how long he’d been there watching her work. She felt every bone in her body tense preparing for the verbal beating he would delve out to her tonight for dessert.

  “I know you’re probably really excited about filling in for Saroya and all. But I wouldn’t get too attached to that job if I were you. There’s no way Tom Rich would ever promote you to lead designer. The shit you come up with is nowhere close to what I’ve seen Saroya do.”

  Felicia looked at the man standing before her. The father of her children. The man she was once completely and utterly in love with…funny thing is, Saroya had always treated her as an equal. Often letting Felicia come up with the concepts they presented to their clients. But David would never have believed Felicia if she had told him this, which is why she never bothered to. He would just come up with examples of how what she did was child’s play.

  “Have you showered tonight?” he asked when her eyes met his. Knowing immediately what he was getting at, Felicia replied.

  “No.” Felicia had stopped showering at night two years ago. That put a stop to a lot of the late night visits, if you could call them that. Being nudged out of your sleep as a dick was trying to force its way in, wasn’t a visit in her mind.

  “Why don’t you stop working and get in the shower? I’ll wait for you.” David unselfishly offered.

  “Not tonight. I really need to finish this and I’m beat.” Felicia responded with a huge yawn to emphasize her exhaustion.

  “It won’t take that long.” He replied giving her what was supposed to be a seductive look. Was pointing that out supposed to make her rush and…do what?

  “I know it won’t. But I’m just not feeling it tonight.” David was so self-involved he didn’t catch on that she just acknowledged that he was indeed a minute man.

  “Your loss.” He declared as he started walking away, “Oh and if I were you, I’d lay off the carbs. It looks like you’ve put on a few.”

  Chapter Eight

  It was Saturday morning and Felicia had been up since four that morning cleaning and doing laundry. Now here it was six hours later, she and the girls were dressed with nowhere in particular to go. It was such a lovely day outside. She could always take her car by Kincaid’s and get that oil change. This way she wouldn’t have to do it before work next week. Or that’s what she was telling herself. Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that Harrison would more than likely be there.

  “Alright ladies lets hit it! We’ll go get an oil change and maybe grab some lunch somewhere while we’re out.”

  Glendale MO was a nice, family friendly suburb of St Louis. Many of Felicia’s childhood friends had moved away going off to college never to return. But Felicia loved it. She had the best of both worlds. City living when she wanted it. St. Louis wasn’t far…just inside of twenty minutes on a good day. But a lot of her peers felt this side of the Midwest was a little too slow paced for them. Felicia felt Glendale was one of the best places to raise a family. Her parents lived seven minutes away from her.

  All throughout her school years from elementary through college, Felicia and Harrison’s sister Emma had been joined at the hip. There was nothing one wouldn’t do for the other and there were no secrets between them. When David came into her life at first everything had been perfect. Too perfect many had voiced to her. Felicia, for the first time in a long time felt loved. It was truly a heady feeling. When friends and family started to witness and hear about the awful treatment she was receiving Felicia was forced to go on the defensive.

  What else could she do? She had two kids who would want to marry a woman with two kids unless they were his? Soon her relationships became so strained a lot of them ceased. Analia, Hailey and Saroya had all made vows not to discuss David. Meaning Felicia had no one to confide in. Things didn’t go so smoothly with Emma. She loved fiercely and knew of no other way. Felicia failed to see her value, Emma had told her. She needed to get rid of David in order to put her and the girls first. At the time all Felicia had wanted was to be a family regardless of the cost. Emma told her she couldn’t hang around, continuing to be a spectator while that douche bag treated her sister like shit.

  Emma still sent Felicia and the girls cards on the holidays and their birthdays and Felicia did the same. She missed her sister-friend and their relationship greatly. Running into their parents always felt like a family reunion. She always made time for them when she saw them. They had been a second set of parents to her after all while growing up.

  Even though Emma had to step away from their friendship, Mr. & Mrs. Kincaid never treated her differently. Neither had her siblings. Harrison had just opened his first shop under his chain when they’d stopped speaking and Felicia was due a tune up. She had spent a month trying to psyche herself into going. Finally giving up she went to a big chain for service. It was just her luck that Harrison happened to be driving by. Felicia heard the screeching of tires and horns honking. Next thing she knew Harrison was standing in front of her asking if she’d gotten lost and forgot where his shop was located?

  Felicia was so embarrassed she’d been caught she couldn’t look at him. That was one of the only times Harrison had physically touched her. He lifted her chin forcing her to look him his eyes.

  “Do you remember when you and Emma didn’t talk for a week in high school?” he asked her.

  Of course she remembered, it was their first big fight. “Yes. I remember.”

  “And do you remember I’d just gotten a car and one of the stipulations was that I had to take you and Emma home after school. Every day?”

  “Yes I remember.”

  “And did I ever once let the fact that you two were on the outs keep me from fulfilling my promise?” Harrison asked in his deep baritone voice.

  “No it didn’t.”

  “Then, I’ll be seeing you in a few minutes then.” And with that he got back into his truck and left the lot. Felicia following a few cars behind him.

  ****

  When Felicia pulled into the carousel the manager was on his way to ask what services were needed when Harrison intercepted him.

  “Wow, today must be my lucky day! A car full of pretty ladies coming into my shop on this beautiful Saturday morning.” Felicia was hoping she was succeeding in presenting an unfazed outwardly appearance. Because she was gushing on the inside from his flattery. Harrison had his arm on the roof of the car and was leaning into her window to talk to the girls.

  “You’re funny!” Elena told Harrison as she was attacked by rush of giggles. Elena’s laughter and clear delight made Harrison’s smile spread wider, exposing his dimples one could barely ever catch a glimpse of.

  Turning his gaze onto Felicia he asked “What can I do you for?” Harrison knew by the deer in the headlights look Felicia was giving him, his question did what he intended it to do.

  “Felicia?”

  “Oh, um yeah, it’s time for me to get a tune up. I mean an oil change.” If he only knew how true her first statement was.

  “I think I can help you with that. Although I must warn you that I never rush on a job. Always make sure to take my time and inspect all the nooks and crannies.” Harrison’s tongue chose that minut
e to sneak out and moisten his bottom lip. “I’d hate for you ladies to miss out on enjoying the day by having to spend it inside waiting for your car to be finished.” Harrison stated as he opened Felicia and Dana’s doors. “Why don’t I have Chad work on you guys’ car and we go to Forrest Park and have a picnic? What do you think?’ Harrison asked looking at Dana and Elena.

  “Oh can we mommy? Please?” Dana asked. Felicia knew she was boxed into a corner if Dana was calling her mommy.

  “Yeah please mommy? I want to go to Forrest Park for a picnic!” Elena decided to co-sign with her sister.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to take you away from work.”

  “I’m positive, I was just finishing up for the day anyway. Give me a minute to make a call and we can head out. Come on, I’ll let you in the truck.” Harrisonw walked them over to his Ford F350, opened the doors for them and assisted everyone into his monstrous pickup. “Be right back!”

  One stop later they found themselves parked and walking through the park. Searching for that perfect spot to spread their blanket out at. Harrison had called a local deli and had them throw together a picnic lunch for them to enjoy. Elena declared them to be in the perfect spot under a shade tree. Felicia couldn’t agree more and they set to fixing up their area.

  The girls were still full from breakfast. Electing to play first on the huge playground fifty feet away. Elena wanted to fly high and high did she fly on the swings. Thirty minutes later there was light sheen present on his face and Harrison was able to break away joining Felicia on the blanket where she lay watching them.

  “So how did week one of you being lead designer go LiLi?”

  Felicia smiled at hearing her childhood nickname. “It went great H! I mean I don’t think it could have gone any smoother had it been planned. Jenna the new assistant is amazing. Our clients have been more than accepting of the transition.”